The Battle

The enemy has been so strongly chasing, grasping and at times succeeding in drawing my friend across the battle lines. I have had this vision in my head of this battle, where we are few, so few and his numbers abound. We are in this amazing battle , what a privilege to be on the side where the victory is promised. At times I am fearful because I can't see this victory, all I can see is each day my friend is losing his battle a little more, giving in more and more to the adversaries lies. Hardening his heart towards all those that will walk the narrow road with him to eternity. I have not been included in those who have been set in the mortar until this week, I now find myself in the mix which holds the bricks creating the wall around his heart.

Father, You have overcome this world, in that I know that You will be the victor in this battle of my friend's. You will quiet his fears, you will increase the faith he needs to have complete confidence in You and Your ability. I am grateful that although he can close all of us out, He can not close You out. And I am grateful that You have placed him in a work environment where he is surrounded by strong Christians. Father, give them insight to what he needs, where he is at. Use them, Father. And in the meantime give those of us who have been placed in the mortar endurance and strength to continue in the battle for our brother. I love You, Dad.

Psalm 138:8
"The Lord will perfect that which concerns me; Your mercy, O Lord, endures forever; do not forsake the work of Your hands."

It has been an awesome week, incredible in so many ways and painful in quite a few, but the whole time the Lord has been there faithfully supplying all I need. Whether it be encouragement, chastening, boldness, pruning... He has opened the eyes of my heart, causing a sobering effect there. He saw my feet lifting off the ground, my mind giving into hopes that are well beyond today, my heart soaring, my thoughts running well into the tomorrows of this life and He has been faithful to bring me back to where I need to be, right beside Him, instep with His thoughts and ways.

This verse has been a good reminder that He is the one who will perfect all that concerns me...not I. And this cry for Him not to forsake the works of His hands is one I know that He has been and will continue to be faithful in answering.

It is often painful letting go of our own hopes and dreams, releasing them to Him, allowing Him to change and mold them, but so beautiful. One day soon I am hoping to write of a long time dream that He has been bringing through this molding and refining process, it is getting more and more beautiful as He has been revealing bits of it to me...in the meantime, I need to keep my feet planted, my thoughts on today, and my hopes in Him completely.

Tour of Duty

My younger brother, Marc, has possibly arrived in Kuwait. His tour to Iraq began as he stepped onto a bus in Lawton, OK last night. He will be spending 30 days in Kuwait and then the remaining 11 months just outside of Baghdad.

Though our family has had several months to prepare for this, the pain that gripped my heart last night was so unexpected.

I was supposed to call him Wednesday to talk to him one last time before he boarded the plane, as I left church I called and got his answering service at home, thinking that he was having a last night out with his wife and children, I left a message. Within minutes of leaving that message I was so gripped with sadness, I could not control the sobbing that was taking place. And within 10 minutes I found out why, they had moved his leave time up and as this sadness had overcome me, he had been saying goodbye to my mom, his wife and children...boarding the bus to the airport.

The chain of events over the past couple of months have been heart wrenching. First the call that confirmed that this time they were really going as he completed signing all the papers...those that will direct the events following his death...yes, this is all just precautions, butwhat reality comes with that. Then the plans to all come together as a family for one last time before he left, plans for my sister to meet her nephew for the first time, what an exciting time that was to be...we all haven't been together as a family in over 3 years. Then the call that all our plans were for nought, they moved his leave date up several weeks, making it impossible to come together. Then they continually moved his time of departure, to the final decision coming so quick that we didn't even have a chance to say good bye. The past 12 hours or so have been ones of uncontrolled thoughts, thoughts lingering on so many yesterdays, so many "last times," our last Thanksgiving, Christmas, the last time I hugged him; March 19 at his wedding earlier this year.

And now, so many hopes for tomorrow, for the time he will be reunited with his family, for the time I will be able to hug him again, for a time he and I can fellowship, that this tour will bring him to our Saviour's throne.

Discouraged?

A verse the Lord brought to my rememberance today:

Job 42:2 "I know that You can do everything, and that no purpose of Yours can be withheld from You."

With this verse I know that if my hopes and dreams rest in Him, if I continually seek that my will is in line with His, each will be fulfilled. No matter what the circumstances around me say, His purpose for my life will not be withheld.

If we wait in anticipation and hope for His purposes to unfold we will not be discouraged but encouraged with all the impending blessings He has for us.

Is There a Reason

A friend of mine recently posted on her blog a question, "Does everything happen for a reason?" And with this, is it the same for believers and non-believers? This made me think of many different things, so there may be some rambling in this post.

There were many events in my life prior to Christ that I used to ask the Lord why He allowed me to go through such things. Despite my questioning, I always knew it wasn't for nought. Through my walk, I have seen Him use some of those things, but never to the depth of what He is using them in my life today. The Lord has placed 3 particular people in my life who are currently in places that caused me great pain, either by my own choice or by the choosing of others. Today, I am blessed to be able to be in their lives to share the joy that the Lord has given me through those trials, the healing He granted me from the wounds and scars left behind, etc. I know that it is through all those difficult times, bad choices, etc., that I came to know my Father in such an intimate way, I know that if I hadn't had gone through them I would not have the compassion I now have.

I also know that without those I wouldn't be able to encourage these sisters and brother. All three are in a place in life that parallels different seasons of my life in prior years. Through each of their trials, I have found greater joy in my Father and remembering all that He allowed in my life, all that He freed me from, and the incredible ways that He has used those circumstances.

Through all of this I am also learning to embrace trials as they come at me, not that I don't hurt or get discouraged through them, but there is also an excitement in them, knowing that God is using them to my good and those who are around me.

I was reminded of a few verses as I typed this:

2 Corinthians 1:3-5 "Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our tribulation, that we may be able to comfort those who are in trouble with the same comfort with which we ourselves were comforted by God. For as the sufferings of Christ abound in us, so our consolation also abounds through Christ."

Acts 14:22b "Through many tribulations, we must enter the kingdom of God."

1 Peter 5:10 "And after you have suffered for a little while, the God of all grace, who called you to His eternal glory in Christ will Himself perfect, confirm, strengthen and establish you."