Can't give up

The past 2 months have been pretty tough...as I look to the Lord to change me into His image there is such pain at times with the answer. Learning how to love with longsuffering and patience. To love with expecting nothing in return. Loving selflessly. To give all I feel I have to give and yet called to continue to give more. To endure, endure, endure with all hope that at some point, any moment the situation will change, the hand will grasp ahold of our Father and never look back again.

Several months ago I wrote of a friend who was in turmoil and he has been walking in the darkness for awhile now...over this time, I have been called to be vulnerable, calling to encourage even if it means there wouldn't be an answer or a returned call, dropping off sermons even if they are never listened to, loving despite silence, helping out when allowed with projects even if it is "idle work", sharing Christ's love by just being there, and continually interceding.

I have grown weary several times, each time I take this to the Lord, sharing my heart with Him, my discouragement, and sometimes feelings of hopelessness, He encourages me. He reminds me of His enduring love for me, He reminds me of His faithfulness to me...and at those times when I truly feel I can't continue, that I have to "let go and let God," my friend calls, he reaches out for a life line...and I am encouraged to continue...loving, fighting, enduring.

This week has been a really tough one for me as my brother's deployment date approaches and I have really felt as if there is nothing left in me to give. Again I cried out to the Lord in regards to this friend and the absence of the friendship I once knew with him and laid it in the Lord's hands again. And this morning he called...not just a call out of obligation, but one out of concern...with a message from our Father...that He loves me. For the first time in weeks we were able to speak of spiritual things, he was encouraging me in the Lord and the ways of our Savior.

Father, thank You for the change in my friend, for restoring his joy. I pray that he would hold fast to Your hand, that he would not allow the enemy to draw him into isolation. That he would recognize the wiles of our adversary, that you would strengthen his will to fight against them. Give him discernment into the friendships he has. I ask that you would increase his courage for this race, that he would be able to comprehend your ability to free him from all the residue of his past, that he would believe in this and pursue you for this. Father, lastly I ask that You would deliver him back into the fold...he has been a lone sheep for too many weeks now, making himself easy prey. Thank You for your enduring love, for the example You have given me. For giving me the privilege of being a friend to this man. For entrusting me with the hearts of so many that You hold dear. I love you.